Since I need to inject some new life into my blog, I thought I should start sharing information about the little trips I have taken. I will start, in my next post, with my last trip which was taken in late January this year to Bintan. We wanted to go somewhere as a family.
What to most people is considered extended family is to me just plain family, which includes my aunts, uncles and cousins. We are very close because we grew up together and spent almost every weekend together during our childhood. As we got older, we increasingly needed our own space, but whenever we come together there’s no denying our bond.
My grandmother was the centre of everything, our matriarch and the powerful woman in charge. She remained mentally powerful and commanded respect naturally, in spite of the frailty of her body as she reached her nineties. I am very grateful to have known her and that she held everything together so well. She is the only grandparent I have known so she was both grandfather and grandmother to me. It’s a wonder how she managed with 7 children all alone, her husband having passed away when her youngest was only 10.
I miss the time when she was around, the time when there was nothing to feel anxious about and everything was calm and serene. I guess it had something to do with not experiencing devastating loss and grief. Not knowing what that was – I wish I could go back to that unburdened time. These days I drag my frazzled nerves from day-to-day, wondering if I can survive the mental anxiety. I worry about everyone and everything and that can be draining. I wish I could stop. Blogging about simple, happy things keeps my mind focused on the positive, and I have the kindest readers who bolster my flagging confidence.