Internet Tribes, Kindred Spirits

I think people who have a compelling need to write, feel emotions intensely. If we don’t put it down and share it somewhere, we will burst.

I find that we also tend to dream so vividly that it seems real. For me I often wake up drained and wish I could have one night without dreams. I’ve learnt I’m not alone in this, from twitter conversations and lovely ladies I’ve conversed with on blogs and vlogs.

Some things, only a fellow woman can understand, and personally for me I need that female connection. I actually love the fact that my blog has a mainly female audience. And women more often than not want empathy and understanding and not solutions or a quick fix. Well at least that’s the way for me. We will find out own solutions in due time. When we are ready but we share not for the purpose of getting a solution as such. I am sure lots of women can relate to this conundrum. We also share only with people we trust and don’t make us feel silly for having those feelings.

I often feel self conscious about wearing my heart on my sleeve all the time. I wonder if people consider it weird. Nobody likes to be labelled as odd. But then again I find that people who are totally guarded about their feelings are people I can never be close to. For some reason they are emotionally closed off. Perhaps to protect themselves or perhaps that’s their comfort level. The relationship then hovers at a superficial level. Some of them are people I knew for years and then realized that actually I don’t know them at all.

It’s really funny though because I feel I know the heart of women I have never even met but who have shared their lives and emotions online. When they feel pain I feel so sad for them as well. We can also send good vibes their way and hope their lives turn around for the better. It’s why I like the internet.

People often talk about real life interactions being superior, and put down interactions on social media, but I think that this form of communication is pretty cool. If you’re shy, you are able to reach out to people way across the other end of the globe, without the pressure of a physical meet up. You just feel that connection. There’s someone out there who feels the same things and it’s very reassuring to find that after all, you are not that odd. There’s a tribe out there for you.

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore helps me survive the mid-life crisis

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26 Responses to Internet Tribes, Kindred Spirits

  1. Danielle C says:

    As we discussed over Twitter, you are far from alone in this. πŸ™‚ It is indeed nice to be able to share and “check” you are not crazy! I appreciated the validation also. Take care of yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself. πŸ™‚

    • bookjunkie says:

      So glad you shared your experiences on twitter. It is truly sweet to meet someone kind and understanding like yourself. Very reassuring & I don’t feel so alone. Hugs.

      • Danielle C says:

        I know what it is like to feel alone. Mostly it is in my own mind! I get lonely very quickly if I spend more than a day or two alone. So it is not you! It is all of us. We should never feel alone and we should never be afraid to reach out and share our feelings of loneliness. People try too hard to show confidence sometimes. It can be better to show some vulnerability, people will be happy to cheer you up most of the time! πŸ™‚ And if they don’t they aren’t work going to. Friends often tell me off if I tell them after the fact i was alone and lonely!

        • bookjunkie says:

          You’re such a sweet girl. I can’t imagine you ever alone.

          Thanks for the online friendship – I really appreciate it and you’ve made me feel I’m not alone.

  2. Sofia says:

    oohhh… I LOVE this post of yours! It’s honest, emotional but still so easy to connect with. And if you are odd, than I am too πŸ˜‰
    It also occurred to me, I only read blogs from female authors with one exception. That is a blog written by two dads and it is very funny! Otherwise, I also agree that reaching out and connectin on the internet is a wonderful thing. Keep on!

    • bookjunkie says:

      I am so so happy that I met you online. You are the sweetest soul πŸ™‚ Always uplift me with your kindness. I love coming by your space although I may not always comment (usually when I read on my iPhone cos hard to comment on that thingy)

      • Sofia says:

        I feel the same way! πŸ™‚ And thank you so much for your kind words… (shy). You are too generous. I guess it’s your sensitive way that makes us connect so easily. It’s great to be around someone who is just as emotional as I am. And no worries on the not commenting on my blog! I am always happy to have you around!!

        • bookjunkie says:

          I tend to gush when I feel comfortable and excited. Yeah it’s that emotional side that comes out easily with words typed on a screen πŸ™‚

  3. plumerainbow says:

    “we share not for the purpose of getting a solutions as such”
    Oh that’s right on the mark! It’s great to just get the words out sometimes. It lightens the load somehow.

    • bookjunkie says:

      so glad those words hit the mark for you too πŸ™‚ I always feel that when I get offered quick fixes when all I want is a listening ear. It helps to just vent sometimes.

  4. verena says:

    OMG! This couldn’t be more close to my heart. It’s really funny how we have physical friends whom we have known for years but never build a connection with, yet there are others we seem to feel like we have known them for ages even without having met once.

    Love reading your blog, whether it’s the food posts (that make me hungry in the middle of the night sometimes) or your thoughts that make me feel, like you said, that I am not alone in thinking certain ways. πŸ™‚

  5. I’ve actually stopped dreaming and I kind of miss it!

    I love the people I’ve met online too. So many stories to share! I always feel bad when I get busy and caught up (which is almost always) and run out of time to catch up.

  6. What a beautiful post. I know exactly what you mean.

  7. Katrijn says:

    Social media definitely keeps me sane at times, just knowing I am not the only one gives me the strength to talk about stuff in real life too. It turns elephants back into mice πŸ™‚

    Another thing I love is coming across a tribe I am not a part of, whose existence I sometimes hadn’t even imagined, and being able to see that view point almost from the inside. So many people sharing their innermost thoughts, it’s amazing and I’m sure it also grows tolerance in the real world.

    • bookjunkie says:

      I love the way you put it. Very insightful. I didn’t know what it was exactly but yes, it’s this sharing of innermost thoughts of people that you otherwise wouldn’t have met. And we may be very different on the outside but inside we share so many similarities.

  8. Sofia says:

    Oh gosh, I see I have a lot of reading to do! When reading through these lovely comments I get all curious about the other ladies’ blogs! For now, I am loving the comments themselves. A great post is really worthy of a good discussion πŸ™‚

  9. Laura says:

    You inspire me an awful lot. Whilst it doesn’t compare and I hesitate to say it as I know how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to live and work abroad, I can’t help but miss my home, family and friends at times too. I look forward to reading yours and all the other blogs I follow, and I definitely don’t think you weird for sharing how you feel so openly.

    • bookjunkie says:

      I admire people like you who have to guts to pack up and leave the comforts and familiarity of home. I think of you as an adventurer. Wish I could do it but I’ve always felt too homesick.

      • Laura says:

        Thanks, I seriously never imagined I could do it and would never have I’m sure if I hadn’t met my husband. When the move first came up I was very unhappy about it but with time came round to it and appreciated what a fantastic thing it was. I probably don’t admit enough to people when I am feeling lonely etc. I just try to pretend I’m not and I guess bottle it up a bit as I feel guilty for feeling that way. Keep sharing what you do as it helps me and I hope all your loyal fans help you too when you need it.

        • bookjunkie says:

          Yes I always wondered how you cope with being away from family. Even in a country of 5 million I think it’s pretty easy to feel alone when you’re loved ones are far away. hugs. But I admire people like you who are open to new experience and have a much wider view of the world.

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