Visited my Aunt, Uncle and nieces today and felt so much joy and love it was indescribable. I was on cloud nine. Energized me so much that chemo fatigue was truly non existent.
The innocence, pure love and exuberance of little tots truly makes crystal clear what’s important in life. It helps also that they are mega cute and extremely empathetic for 3 year olds. The simplest things make them so happy.
I am not as religious as I used to be although I wish I still had that faith in a higher power. I lost it the day I lost my darling Papa, suddenly and traumatically. My confidante, my everything. I was 32 years old then and life took a bad turn and I still haven’t been able to blog about it. Went into a tailspin after that taking a decade to cope. Cancer is nothing compared to that trauma.
But since the children arrived I have started to heal. They bring me the closest to that spiritual feeling. A feeling that I’m truly blessed to have these angels in my life. The closest thing to heaven. After my hysterectomy it’s put a fullstop to ever conceiving children (something I’ve always yearned for) but I can’t imagine loving my children more than my nieces. They have totally filled my heart and I would do anything for them. And I think life for me was meant to be this way.
Sometimes I am thankful for this twist in my life, yes the cancer, which is making me ever more grateful and tuned into the blissful joys in my life.