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Category Archives: Midlife Musings
My Origin Story from the 70’s- thanks to my mum’s meticulous diaries
My mum shared an old diary of hers with me. “All my secrets” she said. She recorded all her purchases and gifts she received since the 1970’s. The first thing that struck me? Wow, the inflation. Cars were a fraction … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged 1970's, inflation, Life, mum, Nostalgia, personal
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My Partner’s Thoughts on Aging
Decided to ask B as well, after sharing my mum’s refreshing optimistic viewpoint in the last post. He’s usually a logical pessimist, while I’m a more emotional anxious person and we don’t always agree, so I was surprised to find … Continue reading
Posted in aging, Anxiety, Midlife Musings
Tagged aging, diabetes, health, Natural, plastic surgery, thoughts, vanity
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Aging Sucks
No matter what I hear about aging giving you more wisdom etc, to me it just plain sucks. I feel like myself on the inside, but the outside is betraying my identity. Don’t think I’ve changed much since my thirties … Continue reading
One of My Mum’s proudest moments as a kid back in 1957
My mum always told me the story of how she failed primary 3 and had to repeat it. Every time, she sounded so sad and dejected. She only failed by 1.5 marks too and she was a sickly child. We … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged Amma, colonial, family, history, love, mother, personal, values
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What are the three best decisions you’ve ever made?
I keep dwelling on decisions I regret so I am keen to do this more positive exercise instead. In real time. That is, whatever I type right now will be published unedited. 1. Immediately I think of travel. There is … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged childhood, family, Life, mother, personal, thoughts
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I Don’t Like the Saying ‘New Normal’.
This term seems to have emerged during the pandemic, but a search on Wikipedia shows that it first appeared as far back as 1918. I don’t like it at all, as I don’t like most business jargon and also because … Continue reading
Posted in Covid, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
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Was the Pre-Smart Phone & Pre-Globalisation Era Truly Superior?
I tend to wax nostalgic, wistful for the bygone era – the nineties. I’ll admit bias, as it also happened to be the most carefree, healthiest and happiest time of my life. So I automatically connect, no smartphone and connectivity, … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged anxiety, connectivity, globalisation, misunderstanding, Nostalgia, smart phones, texting, Toxic Workplace
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Being Human
The inadequacy I feel is crushing. I can’t believe I am here. How did I even get here? I know the various traumas. I feel like a broken recorder. No one likes to hear complaints. Well perhaps you won’t mind … Continue reading
Posted in Cancer, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, When Work Sucks
Tagged feelings, Life, Low confidence, personal, self esteem, shame
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Why I Always Reach For Food
Wish I didn’t succumb to this, but I do, I always do. The lure of tasty food. I eat especially when I’m upset or often when I’m bored. Always for a celebration. Food makes me so happy and it’s what … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, Trauma, When Work Sucks
Tagged abuse, child abuse, childhood, fat shaming, Food, trauma
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#5. Letter to my Papa
Papa, so often in the past 19 years, there have been world events and even just local events that I want to talk to you about. Just so much of life is happening and it’s not fair that you’re missing … Continue reading
Posted in Grief, Midlife Musings
Tagged dad, father, grief, loss, love, papa, personal
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Thought Process – Extreme Anxiety
I can’t sleep. Intense fear and anxiety. God please help me. Please let everything be ok. Please let it all go back to normal. I’m so worried. I’m afraid to fall asleep, because I’m afraid to wake up and face … Continue reading
Looking Forward to Being Less Sedentary
Being cooped up at home is definitely not healthy (mentally or physically) and I look forward to walks outside when the covid wave passes and the weather permits. I have to avoid the sun as I’ve had sun damage and … Continue reading
Posted in Covid, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged covid, Life, Living, Mental Health, park, sedentary, Singapore, walks
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Trying to Help Myself
I tend to build up negative scenarios in my head that never materialise in real life. Often they have to do with failure and rejection. Often these scenes appear in my nightmares when I try « not to think » … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged failure, fear, feelings, insecurity, nightmares, Sri Lanka, thoughts, writing
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10 Things I Took for Granted During Covid Lockdown
1. Having peace, quiet and space to be able to relax and think. I’m tired of Corporations entering the sanctity of home through noisy Zoom meetings. 2. Being able to take public transport and have that independance, without the intense … Continue reading
I Don’t Like Change
My favourite kind of days are regular days with routines that you are used to. They may be considered by extroverts to be boring. To me they are comforting. I love living in regular days with no extremes to upset … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Movies
Tagged change, covid, lockdown, midlife, Nostalgia, Tom Cruise, Top Gun
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Thoughts about Our Existence
As I get older, reality doesn’t seem as solid anymore. Everything feels hazy. Almost dream like. I absolutely can’t process that I’m 51 already and 52 next. Past the dreaded milestone (I also have survivor’s guilt as in why did … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, When Work Sucks
Tagged advice, aging, death, grief, Life, midlife, thoughts
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Manifesting Travel
My cousins put up their results of an online travel quiz, so I was curious enough to do it too. They are a dozen years my junior, so in comparison I really haven’t travelled that much. This survey only looks … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, Travel
Tagged Austria, Dreams, Europe, Germany, hopes, manifesting, New Zealand, thoughts, travel
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Feel So Happy Meeting with Two of My Cousins After Almost 4 Years
I have social anxiety, but I don’t feel it with people I’m comfortable with like my cousins. I practically saw them grow up, being the much older cousin. They were the cutest toddlers. It’s true what they say about cousins … Continue reading
Grateful for Relaxing Moments: Flat Whites & Lattes at Cosy Cafes
It’s when I feel the most relaxed outside. I like going back to the same places. Cafe Aux Bacchanale and Da Paolo Gastronomia. Familiar friendly faces, good quality and comfy chairs. I do have social anxiety as I imagine many … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, cafe, Coffee Joints, Food in Singapore, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged Cafes, flat white, Latte, social anxiety
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Playing the Piano Again
I’m feeling so happy today. I bought a new piano book at Yamaha (the old time piano studio that still exists in Singapore after all these years). Playing something new helps me assess a different party of my brain, the … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged brain, chemo, habits, happiness, Life, Living, personal, piano, practise, thoughts, writing
2 Comments
My Sinnamma
My mum’s younger sister is, in one significant way, like me. We are both childless by circumstance. I know for sure that my aunt always wanted kids, but in a selfish way I’m glad she didn’t or I wouldn’t have … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged Aunt, aunt with no kids, Life, Living, personal, thoughts
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Why it’s Better to Grow Up in Singapore Today Compared to the 70’s and 80’s
These are just my personal feelings (I’m a diary blogger & not a journalist by any means) based on my particular childhood experiences some of which I don’t wish to relive. Nothing set in concrete. I used to always think … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, When Work Sucks
Tagged culture, Life, Living, personal, Singapore, thoughts, values, women
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