Category Archives: Cancer

Internal Life

I wonder if everyone’s internal life is as vocal or non stop like mine. The internal voice of your consciousness. I suppose it’s this way for most introverts who need and enjoy introspective time to unwind. It’s why I write. … Continue reading

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Does Midlife Begin When You Hit Menopause?

My sister is 50 but hasn’t hit menopause yet and has a remarkable amount of energy. The energy she has is comparable to what I had in my twenties which makes me wonder why I’m so defective. We share 50% … Continue reading

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The 21st Anniversary of My Very First Major Operation

It’s crazy to think that around this time 21 years ago I was rushed to hospital and they had to perform an emergency appendectomy. It was my very first time under the knife and pretty much a traumatic nightmare. A … Continue reading

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Is This Old Age?

I refuse to accept that I’m old at just 51. But these days, whenever I struggle to wake up, with all the muscles and joints in my upper body aching, I feel old. When my mum was 51 she looked … Continue reading

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Thank You Nalie

I was shocked to see this farewell on my Instagram feed today. One of the saddest things about finding cancer support online is loosing your friends. Knowing someone online can be so powerful, because you kinda know their souls. You … Continue reading

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Identity

In Singapore your identify is vey much tied to the job title you hold, the company you work for, your marital status and the number of children you have. It’s the most common question you get asked and for me … Continue reading

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Feeling Extreme Anxiety & Worthlessness

Been feeling especially insecure lately. Exceptionally down emotionally. Don’t feel like a worthy human being. Or at least in this world that values superficial things and status. This world where bullies thrive and aggression is rewarded. I just want peace … Continue reading

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My 3rd Cancerversary

Not sure how WordPress works anymore as I haven’t written for so long, everything feels strange. I was discouraged as I spent so much time on deleting spam and updating the tech stuff. Just want to write to offload some … Continue reading

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My Fears

I feel choked by fear and I felt that by writing it down I’ll be able to loosen the grip. Haven’t written in a while, but have been very active (more like addicted) on Instagram, using that tool to share … Continue reading

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My Revelation on Instagram

I bit the bullet & revealed myself, sort of, on Instagram. My real name is Shanti & I love the fact that in Sanskrit it means peace. I dislike confrontation or conflict, am always seeking peace. I’m rather a passive … Continue reading

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Feeling Optimistic

My oncologist confirmed a week ago that I have stage 4 endometrial cancer. She also mentioned that my tumour type shows I’m not a good candidates for immunotherapy which is a concern. I have what is called microsatellite instability. I … Continue reading

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Trying Not to be Scared

Honestly I can’t tell if it’s better or worse not knowing the staging of my endometrial cancer. Perhaps it’s better not to know. The Doctors have admitted that my situation is so rare that there are some things they just … Continue reading

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Fighting Cancer A Second Time

I never thought I’d be here again, but here I am fighting cancer a second time. I was so heartened to read all the kind encouraging comments in my absence. Thank you to all the kind souls out there – … Continue reading

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Trying to Find My Way Back

Haven’t been able to get back into a blogging cycle but have been very active instead on Instagram – pictures seem easier. Must get back to my words though – they help me feel like I’m living a more aware … Continue reading

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Looking Back Again: Recovery After Chemo

Haven’t been here a while…and I feel lost. I don’t know where to begin. I am overwhelmed by the comments section and feel guilty to not have the energy to reply immediately. Decided to jump into one of the posts … Continue reading

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Looking Back

Grateful for every single visit I got in the hospital and at home since I was diagnosed this January. Each of those visits made the journey so much more bearable and even brought so many moments of joy. Feel so … Continue reading

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No More Chemo

So glad I’m done with Chemo but feel a state of flux. My oncologist says it’s a very natural feeling that all her patients go through. Even though you’re happy to leave chemo side effects behind, you strangely felt safe … Continue reading

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Family

The thing that makee me the happiest is family harmony and love. Nothing beats warm hugs from loved ones. I think most of my family have no idea how much I love them. I don’t really express it, but I … Continue reading

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Anxious about Hospitalisations

Been hoping that I could leave my hospitalisation days behind, but recently had to be hospitalised again for a blood transfusion. Chemo attacks dividing cells and that includes red blood cells. Was very reluctant and dejected about going in, as … Continue reading

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Been Reading Inspirational Blogs

Been reading inspirational blogs by women going through the cancer journey, surgery chemo and the whole works. I admire them so much and often their heartfelt posts make me tear. Just want to reach out and have some kind of … Continue reading

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Hard to Concentrate

It’s been so hard to concentrate. I bring a book to my chemo sessions and so far after 8 sessions I haven’t read a single word. Somehow the brain fog is even worse during the session. It feels like a … Continue reading

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Clueless Before Cancer

1. I had no idea that it was the chemo that caused side effects like loosing your hair. I actually thought it was the cancer itself that caused hair loss. Now I feel silly. 2. I was afraid of Chemotherapy … Continue reading

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