Society is Afraid of Alone

I think this poem translated into a film is just beautiful and meditative. The poet is Tanya Davis. Watching the little clip made me feel so much more relaxed and for a moment, no longer constrained under the glare of societies’ norms and people’s expectations. Who says alone is bad? Sometimes alone can be liberating. I love the line,

“If you’re happy in your head and solitude is blessed, than alone is ok”

I am one of those people who used to be extremely self-conscious about eating alone and then I did it once, in a coffee shop, with a book, and it wasn’t so bad. I have yet to enjoy watching a movie in a theatre alone. I tried it once and didn’t quite like it. I felt like all eyes were on me. I am not so comfortable with that yet and I like feeling someone I know, next to me. Someone I can share the experience with.

I would love to hear about things you love to do alone and how you enjoy solitude. My cousin and sister and very comfortable driving and travelling on planes alone, and I think they even enjoy it. My cousin is well equipped with her Bose noiseless headphones, laptop and ipod filled with her favourite music. It sounds quite lovely when I write about it, but my fear is that, I will somehow miss the plane and end up stuck somewhere. Maybe it’s because I have never been compelled to do it. Even at work I went for conferences with people I knew. There is always someone to accompany me and I’m happy about that. Being alone is not about rejecting people. It’s about being ok with being alone.

I just don’t think it’s fair when society knocks single people or child-free people. Somehow they are pictured as some kind of freaks just because they didn’t or unable to follow the usual path. The pressures fall more on women. Women are laden with the negative word spinster while men can happily be bachelors even at an advanced age. Issues like this make the feminist in me growl.

The thing I love doing alone the most, is writing. Somehow the words flow when there is complete silence and I am in a room by myself in the middle of the night. Listening to music I like is another thing I could do alone. What else? Reading a book in bed in my favorite thing in the world. I used to go swimming alone at night, and feeling the water lap against you made you feel so serene. I haven’t done that in ages.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs]

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore helps me survive the mid-life crisis
This entry was posted in Culture & Society and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Society is Afraid of Alone

  1. J says:

    I love being alone at times, and I think moments of solitude do good for my soul. It gives me space to listen to myself, to rediscover my thoughts and to refocus ahead. I used to stay up late into the nights, just because I love that quiet stillness, knowing everyone else is asleep.
    I love catching a movie on a weekday, during odd hours when there is no crowds. Better still if it is a tear jerker, then I can cry out loud and blow my nose!
    Once in a while, I would dine alone during the crazy lunch hour. I would pick a busy eatery, perched myself between groups of lunchtime kakis and be entertain by their conversations. It wasn’t intentional to eavesdrop. It was just too loud, and I couldn’t help but listened 😉
    I don’t care about society norms. In fact, I choose to taken the roads less travelled. Conforming to the standard is suffocating. After all, I live my life the way I deem. I don’t tell others how to live theirs. And if anyone tell me how to live mine, they better be well prepared for firing.

    • bookjunkie says:

      that’s really cool! I am so grateful that you shared your thoughts and feelings. I don’t like being dictated to by society’s norms either. Being pat of a very small ethnic community can be quite suffocating too…so many judgement….so i stay away.

      I too just love the stillness of the night. It’s the best time to think 🙂 Reading a book in a cafe is my fave thing. (you’re alone, yet not alone…..surrounded by other people reading)

  2. thinkpinktoo says:

    Thats why I like living on my own, halfway across the world 🙂

  3. thinkpinktoo says:

    Its never too late to gain independence or do anything you want to do 🙂 its basicly just challenging yourself from what you are normaly used to.

  4. thinkpinktoo says:

    work for the Lonely planet!!

    • bookjunkie says:

      will look out for their postings 🙂

      Dream jobs would be with: Lonely Planet, Google, Apple, Discovery Channel, National Geographic, World Health Organisation, Self Magazine, Glamour Magazine, ….off the top of my head

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.