Trying to Find My Way Back

Haven’t been able to get back into a blogging cycle but have been very active instead on Instagram – pictures seem easier.

Must get back to my words though – they help me feel like I’m living a more aware and full life.

I have been cancer free for almost 6 months following radiation. I don’t know exactly when  I can say I am truly cancer free or a cancer survivor. I guess from current literature I can’t just yet.  It’s a bit hard when I still have the cathaport in my chest.  Can’t wait to get it out but my oncologist says to wait  two years at least. But another part of me is in no hurry as my ‘bravery’ (was never and never felt brave and think it’s perfectly ok) with procedures has flown out the window and I don’t want to undergo any more if I can help it.

My eyesight hasn’t been very good lately which makes it a bit harder to read and write the two things I live for. Everything is quite blurry and I’m not surprised as it’s a long term side effect of chemo. Doesn’t stop me from playing with the two little angels in my life though. They make life worth living and I just wanted to put this continually out there in case I don’t get a chance to tell them when they are old enough to understand.

Thank you for everyone who has left a kind word and those who have been unkind I’ll just try my best ignore you (sigh…it’s hard sometimes).  Wish the internet, no, people, could be kinder though.  I don’t understand why anyone would put energy into spreading unkindness or negativity. It’s even worse than spam. Spammers just wanna sell their products but at least that doesn’t hurt you. It discourages people from sharing anything at all and I’m grateful to all the other bloggers/writers out there who share their life with me and people who take the time to leave kind encouraging words.  Wanted to state again how grateful I am to you.

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore helps me survive the mid-life crisis
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2 Responses to Trying to Find My Way Back

  1. Barb Holmes says:

    You take beautiful photographs, and they can be your words for now. Follow your heart love. I told myself I was Cancer free the day the surgeon took it out. After completing Radiation, I feel even more so. When I had my lumpectomy, my port came out too. They asked if I wanted to leave it in, but I think there comes a time when we just have to believe. I knew some people leave it in for a few months, but two years? What the hell?

    That port would be a constant reminder to me, and probably make me uncomfortable after a while, so I feel ya. I still move my seat-belt over as not to rub it, and it’s not even there. We are here for you, and thank you for staying with us. Much love to you my friend. xx

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